Eating The Unthinkable: Adam To Cook For His Family

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It’s been settled: this Wednesday night (or will it be Thursday?) I, The Amateur Gourmet, will–for the very first time–cook dinner for my hard-to-please nervous-to-eat-my-food family. What will I cook? How will I cook considering that my mom doesn’t own a WOODEN SPOON? All her roasting pans are aluminum and disposable. She doesn’t have a baking sheet. My mom, you see, doesn’t cook. I enter this kitchen with great trepidation.

I will be cooking for mom, dad, my brother, grandmother and grandfather. Michael (my brother) says: “Don’t make lemon chicken. I hate lemon chicken.” Mom says, “Turkey’s nice–it makes the house smell good.” Dad says, “Don’t cook anything too weird.” Grandma will want something not too fatty and grandpa will be happy, I think, if there’s a Beefeater martini served with it.

One idea is The Barefoot Contessa’s roast salmon with fennel that’s in her Barefoot Contessa Cookbook. Unfortunately, I don’t have that book handy—can someone type up the recipe in the comments? Also, if anyone has any ideas, any suggestions for a picky Jewish family (latkes and brisket have been mentioned) I’m all ears!

This should be exciting and highly nerve-wracking. But will it be worth it? Or will I be cut off from my family forever? TO BE CONTINUED…

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