• Coming This Weekend: The Amateur Gourmet Goes To Florida!

    All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go. My Airtran Flight leaves tomorrow afternoon from Hartsfield to West Palm Beach. My parents will be waiting for me at the airport and our weekend of eating will begin. I plan to keep you updated continuously: minute by minute, bite by bite.Here are some meals for…

  • The Thursday Night Dinner Song: “(Tonight We Dined At) Osteria”

    As per my promise to serenade you each Thursday night with the contents of my meal, I present you now with a masterwork entitled “(Tonight We Dined At) Osteria” with music by Andrew Lloyd Webber and lyrics by yours truly. The attachment is in mp3 format and should, therefore, be accessible to all of you.Download…

  • Lisa and Olives: Round Three

    I would now like to take the opportunity to reply to Lisa G’s devastating round two victory in the Great Olive Campaign. I have spent these past few days training with an olive coach who has worked me back into shape, throwing kalamata olives at my head and squirting me with olive oil between practice…

  • Comment Prompt #2: Favorite Fictional Meal

    Ok so from now on comment prompts are purely voluntary, like blood drives, only without the free cookie.Today I suffered through three hours of class (with two more scheduled from 6 to 8) daydreaming about comment prompts and the like. I found this one to be particularly delicious.COMMENT PROMPT #2:WHAT MEAL FROM A MOVIE, BOOK,…

  • Cobbler Sex City

    Nothing says sex like apple cobbler. The bubbling sticky apple juices; the savory, buttery cobbler topping. Sometimes, when I’m feeling lonely, I break out a bottle of wine, turn up the Barry Manilow and bake myself an apple cobbler. I pour it over my head like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance and scream in agony. Apple…

  • Real Amateur Sexy Foto

    I am still punishing you all for not posting 10 replies to my comment prompt, but I had to share this…One of the features of TypePad (which is what I use to run this site) is that I can click and see where people are accessing my webpage from. Often times, people will have done…

  • A Video Message From Lolita

    Download fileQuicktime required.

  • Comment Prompt #1

    I am about to begin my Friday night shennanigans which, thankfully, have nothing to do with Bennigans even though they rhyme.I would like to encourage readers to post more comments and so as an incentive I would like to ask the following question: (written in all caps for dramatic effect):WHAT WAS THE LAST BEST MEAL…

  • A Mediocre Tropical Smoothie from The Barefoot Contessa

    I have a love/hate relationship with The Barefoot Contessa.On the one hand, her recipes are wonderful. Of all my cookbooks, hers produce the best and most consistent results: a terrific roast chicken, a great recipe called Pasta, Pesto, Peas that is as heavy on the flavor as it is the alliteration. Her desserts are buttery…

  • Burrito Song: Take Three

    Thanks to my dear friend Josh, you can now download the Burrito song as an mp3. Thus you now have three entirely separate, entirely wonderful “Burrito Song” options. You may want to download all three and play them simultaneously. Just a suggestion.Download file