Waking up to “Ultimate Kitchens” is like waking up in an elevator with Leeza Gibbons. This is the show you will watch when you’re 90, strapped to a bed and so pumped full of morphine that shadow puppets and the tri-color off-the-air TV signal amount to high art. The show involves a perky woman (pictured…

More with Tyler Florence and a perky co-host who reminds me of Reese Witherspoon in Election.This woman is such a spazz. They’re making Teriyaki chicken wings and while making the sauce, Tyler asks her to add the brown sugar. She opens the box and begins shaking and the entire BAG falls into the pot. The…

The Food Network is what got me hooked on food to begin with. Before the Food Network, I can’t even say that I gave food more than a passing thought. My allegiance lies with Sarah Moulton whose maternal whimsy made cooking seem an easy worthwhile prospect; I watched her show “Cooking Live” loyally every night at…

OH MY GOD, THIS WOMAN IS THE DEVIL.What IS this show!?There’s this woman in a kitchen and a little doggie is scratching on the door. “You wanna come in?” asks the lady. The dog scratches. The woman giggles. She lets the dog in and turns to the camera. “I just got back from shopping at…

Bobby Flay presents another Food Network problem. If my first major critique is that too much of Food TV is filler and fluff, my second major critique is that just because someone is a star chef doesn’t mean that they should be a star.Being a great chef involves many skills–dexterity, intelligence, leadership–but does not necessarily…

The best part about studying for the bar exam (and that’s not a sentence-starter you hear very frequently) was reading Amanda Hesser’s “Cooking For Mr. Latte.” The Starbucks where I study at is located near a Chapter 11 book store and one day, during an over-extended break, I ambled over there and perused (as I…

Picture it. You’re moving to New York on Friday. The moving company is coming Tuesday. You spend all weekend packing, sorting, organizing. Then Monday (today) you get a phonecall.”Hi, Adam? This is East Coast Moving Systems. I’m afraid we’re having technical problems and we’re not going to be able to move you from Atlanta to…

Let me tell you about my day. It started with a phonecall from a man in a truck. The man in the truck was supposed to pick up my car on Tuesday to deliver to my grandparents in Florida who are assuming ownership now that I’ll be riding subways and horse-and-buggies around Manhattan. I’ve had…

This part of Ebert’s review of “Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle” made me laugh and since it’s food related, thought I’d share:“”Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle,” on the other hand, is about two very specific roommates who want to smoke pot, meet chicks and eat sliders in the middle of the…

Congrats to Jeremy of Frost Street and the fine folks at Gothamist on their new project: Gothamist Food. The site looks great, can’t wait to see what’s in store.