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Tomorrow is my last day in Atlanta (sniff/sniff) and so tonight I hired a bunch of actors to play my friends and to join me at my well-thought-out final Atlanta dining spot. (Well I suppose tomorrow night’s dinner will be my final Atlanta dining spot, but you get the idea). To be honest, I didn’t…

Moving is a beyond stressful experience. Sure, my stress was amplified by the villainy of East Coast Moving Systems (which, if you missed that post, cancelled on me the day before they were supposed to move me); but just the process of going through every drawer, every cabinet and every pantry can be excruciating. Even…

How fitting that my final Food Network show is somewhat regional; Paula Deen is a Savannah chef and therefore a beautiful metaphor for the end of my Georgia experience. Too bad her food looks disgusting.To be fair, I’m burnt out, maybe this food isn’t disgusting. But Beef Wellington with oyster pate looks disgusting to me…

Back to Sara; now we’re doing fish. She said, “You may be surprised to know that some of the freshest fish in NY is in a train station.” Sure enough, in Grand Central there’s a great looking fish shop (now I forget the name). Maybe I’ll buy some housewarming fish there upon my arrival.In other…

Ragging on Emeril is a favorite past-time of foodies. Anthony Bourdain calls him an Ewok. eGullet has entire divisions devoted to Emeril bashing. I’m a former Emeril basher myself. It’s fun to hate him.I mean all that “bam!”-ing and audience mugging, it’s like watching some weird creature in some weird studio in a galaxy far…

Thank God. Just when I thought I’d hit bottom comes “Molto Mario.” This is, in my opinion, the best show on the Food Network. It may not seem that way at first. The first few times I watched this show I wasn’t particularly charmed by it; in fact, I found Mario to be a bit…

More Food 911, this time drinks. Tyler made a rocking bloody mary, now he’s making a Mimosa creamsicle. The guest is a pretty blonde (what’s with Tyler and pretty blondes?) and I think Tyler’s being a bit flirty. They just toasted their creamsicles and he said, “See how the cream’s coming out?” Ummm, Tyler.

“Hi there I’m Rachel Ray and I make 30 minute meals.”NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!I have this nightmare vision of Rachel Ray like Chucky in “Child’s Play” pacing around my room with her toothy smile and repeating that opening incantation: “I’m Rachel Ray, I make 30 minute meals” over and over again, wielding a chef’s knife.Rachel Ray has her…

The difference between Food Finds and Best Of is? Ummm, different hosts?Otherwise it’s the exact same show. I think it’s equally pointless. Although some guy just made sticky buns that looked good. How did he make them? Sorry, for that you’ll have to watch another show.I bet these shows are more expensive to produce than…

I hate this show so much. Best of? More like Worst Ever.It’s like watching a travelling infomercial. Mark Silverstein and Jill Cordes are to food what your local weatherman is to meteorology. Actual, they’re worse. There’s something corrupt about this show: money is changing hands somewhere. Basically Mark and Jill go across the country and…