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Stories and Rants

  • The Ew Department: Yogurt Covered Pretzels

    Surprise, surprise: today the thought of touching food repulsed me. I rolled out of bed, put my stockings on and began fretting over what I would consume before class.Our refrigerator offered no help: left over sour cream, year old cartons of red pepper hummus. Yes: time to clean the fridge.So I went to Smoothie King…

  • How CNN Killed My Bagel

    I decided to delete all CNN airtime posts since they are now irrelevant. In the process, I deleted my post “A Cultural Anomoly: The Einstein Brothers’ Nacho Cheese Bagel.” I think it is gone forever and this upsets me because (a) I took time to write it, (b) I even did research for it, and…

  • A Salmon Sandwich Scandal

    I love Alon’s Bakery in the Virginia Highlands. I go there way too often, so much so that the staff eye me suspiciously each time I come through the door.”He’s back?””What’s his problem?”One employee, though–Cheryl–holds me in special regard.”Clay Aiken!” she shouts, each time I come through the door.I duck my head down but it’s…

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