Essays

Oh, I remember it like it was yesterday: floating in my amniotic sac, sipping through my giant umbilical straw that delicious pre-natal slurpee. The rich glowing red ambiance and everything free.And then poof! Birth!The Early Years: Born To EatAccording to my mother, I used to cry when she stopped feeding me. I would sniffle and…

Today I rode the laurels of my celebrity away from school and on to the mall, where I could revel in my splendor—absorbing the awe-struck gazes of passers-by who whispered to one another: “Is that the guy from TV?” “He’s so much cuter in person!”I made my way up the escalator and turned left towards…