March 2004

It’s my grandmother’s fault.Back in the day, we would go to Wendy’s and she would say: “go get us some napkins.” I would come back with two or three and she’d say: “No, no, no! Here, let me show you.” She’d hold my hand and lead me over to the napkin dispenser. “Like this,” she’d…

This past summer, I worked at a law firm in Los Angeles. One day, all the interns (myself included) went to have Mexican food for lunch. To better inform the story, here is a brief synopsis of my Mexican food experience up to that point:1. When I was 8, my parents took us to a…

Let’s hear your voice, America! What do you like about The Amateur Gourmet? What would you like to see more of? Less of? The dark underbelly of? We here at the Amateur Gourmet appreciate your feedback and though, most likely, we’ll ignore it, it’s nice to know that people like you have enough free time…

ATLANTA, GA–(AP)The Gay Corn Eaters of Georgia marched on the Capitol today, chanting “We Shall All Eat Corn” and other rousing spirituals. They were met by the Anti-Gay-Cornists who wielded Bibles and posters espousing anti-gay-corn-eating rhetoric.One of the Anti-Gay-Cornists, PJ Owens, held a sign saying: “Homo Sex is a Sin.””What does that have to do…

Nominated for their work in the film “Lost in Digestion,” a tub of strawberries knocked on my door tonight and asked me to dress them.”Look we don’t have a lot of time,” said the lead strawberry, “what can you do for us?”I carried them over to the sink for a quick evaluation.”I see chocolate,” I…